they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
