he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
