The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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