just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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