Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
