nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
