the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
