His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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