this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
