Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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