Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
