dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
