And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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