fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
