I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
