Betty ford says i'm here all night
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
she peed on how many people?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
