You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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