Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
