A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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