I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
