I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
