Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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