What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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