Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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