What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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