i don't like sucking hair
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
