We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Randomize
