In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
