just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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