Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
