Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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