just come out here and I will go home with you...
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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