in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
