i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
