Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
