No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I looked at my own cervix.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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