ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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