I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
