with your own penis?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
