I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
