i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
babies were throwing up all over the place
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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