On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
