I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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