First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize