i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
