Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
is it fun? or sober?
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