She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
