Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
