The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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