just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Randomize
