She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
